Discovering Stella
by iloveunicorns13
Summary: Her true love isn't her soulfinder. Stella Benedict is an outcast in life. She is guarded and self-sufficient, until she meets a gorgeous, charismatic boy who she can't resist. When Stella starts questioning everything she believes in, where will love lead her? Stella is a year younger than Zed. Scenes with different POVs/couples. Set after Seeking Crystal but before Misty Falls.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! I've just edited this so I can put in an AN. This is my first story so I'm still figuring out how to do these things! I really hope you enjoy! I'll be updating regularly on weekends and I will try my best to update during the week when I can. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story except Marcy Corry, Stella and Alicia. All credit goes to the wonderful Joss Stirling.**

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><p>STELLA'S POV<p>

We all sat together in the family room. It was Dad and Mom's idea of helping me work out my problems the savant way. Everyone was here. All my siblings, blood or otherwise. The room was overcrowded with fourteen people. Mom, Dad, Trace, Diamond, Uriel, Victor, Will, Xav, Crystal, Yves, Phoenix, Zed, Sky, and me. The full Benedict family.

It was all because I got in trouble at school again. I mean big trouble. The only one who tops my record is Zed. He got suspended once when he was fifteen. My parents went to the principal's office yesterday to discuss my "intolerable behaviour."

I was heavily shielded, I didn't want any of them inside my head right now. I surveyed them all, my family. I knew exactly what they'd say to me. I'm lucky to have a big family who all love me. But there are downsides to being a Benedict. We're all savants and it's impossible keeping everyone away from my private thoughts.

My gift is to relive people's memories. I can experience a person's memories as if it's happening to me at that moment. It is impossible to control and I have dreams every night. Weird experiences from random strangers who I've briefly crossed paths with in the day. It could be anyone from the local librarian to a person who I've brushed past in the street. If I try, I can channel a certain person's memories by touch. But it really drains me and sometimes the thoughts are so private I really wish I'm not seeing it. So mostly I don't use my gift, but the dreams are impossible to handle. I always see the most memorable things. Generally, the painful things. Other people's physical pain and dark feelings leave imprints on me. My mood in a day is determined by what I dreamt last night. Zed gets it, because of seeing all the crime we deal with because he's the seventh son. He couldn't deal with it until he found Sky. Now he's got her he's ok, permanently.

Crystal was practicing her gift so soon she could find mine, Uriel's, Victor's and Will's soulfinders. I secretly didn't want to find mine. He was unlucky to have me. I was unsociable, plain looking and a failure as a savant. And as a Benedict, for that matter. I remember very clearly what I was thinking: I can't control my gift at 16 years old. It's pathetic.

"Stella," Mom began. "We've gathered because we're worried about you."

"We won't tell you off, just try to help," Dad added. "Tell us the truth about what happened at school, Stella. Please."

They were tickling me with their gifts, trying to get in my brain. I forced myself not to slam up my shields harder. The quicker they got what they were after, the quicker I could leave.

"Looks like Stella's the first Benedict girl to get in trouble at school!" Xav quipped. He was making a misguided attempt to lighten the mood. My eyes shot daggers at him.

"Xav..." said Yves. I continued to glower at Xav.

"There only are three. Offically. And the other two are past school age, so go stuff your face with shit, Xav!" I wouldn't normally be so sharp, but I was pissed off right now.

"Stella Benedict! Would you please watch your mouth!" Mom looked angry too now. Damn.

_Nice come back._ Phee's rebellious voice in my mind. My sister-in-law and I our constantly trying to outsmart Xav's jokes and I was grateful to her for being nice to me.

_Thanks._ I said no more, in case the others realised we were using telepathy.

I got back to my original point now.

"Why do you bother about me so much? Zed's been in more trouble than I've ever been and you never did this to him!"

"That's debatable," Zed muttered.

"Shut up, Zed," Trace said darkly.

"If it's because I'm your only daughter, well, well... that's so stupid!"

"Stella, you know we consider ourselves blessed with five daughters now," Mom said.

"Ugh! Whatever! I'm your only real daughter-!"

"Stella," Victor said, with angry calm. I could see hurt looks on Diamond, Crystal, Phee and Sky's faces, attempting to be concealed with varying degrees of effort.

"Sorry, _biological _daughter then! Just because, just, because I'm the failure in this family!" I stuttered.

With that everyone started talking at once. With fourteen of us, well... you can kind of imagine.

"Don't you dare put yourself down like that Stella!" Crystal shouted.

"Stella, that's not true," Dad tried to be calm.

"Stell honey, that's dumb," said Will loudly.

Sky was speaking but her quiet voice didn't carry enough over everyone else. Mom started to try and calm us down then Uriel said something to Zed who was yelling at someone, I've no idea who. Phee was whispering a comment into Yves's ear when Diamond suddenly shouted, "Silence!" bringing everyone to a hush. She was using her peace making gift, calming everyone down. "Everyone just relax." Her eyes bored into us all for a moment. Diamond sighed. "Now. Karla say everything else you need to say to Stella."

"Thank you, Diamond." Mom said. "Stella, we know that your gift is difficult for you. We just want to see if anything we can do as a family might help."

"It won't." I get a series of unconvinced looks, mainly from my brothers. "Seriously. I don't think anything you do will help."

"Ok Stella," said Dad. "But. I... Zed's told us about your dreams getting to you a lot and if you want us to lighten the load. I mean, you could do less in the crimes we solve, a smaller role in the Net." I shot Zed an angry look. He looked guilty and uncomfortable.

_Traitor!_ I hissed in his mind.

_I'm sorry sis. It's just they were pestering me about you. You know what it's like with Mom..._

_Yeah, I know. I also know you have her gift and are the best at shielding against her._

_Except for Vick and Crystal._

_But still!_ It was the telepathic equivalent of a shout. _Even Sky can shut Mom out when she really wants and you know more than anyone that Sky's shields are the weakest by a lot!_

_Actually, Sky's shields are really coming on._ I sensed he didn't like anyone criticising his soulfinder, but too bad, I was in a critical mood and he'd betrayed my trust.

"Stella are you listening to me?" said Dad. I was too busy replying to Zed.

_This is beside the point! You betrayed me!_

_I'm really sorry, Stella. I thought they could help you. It was for your own good._

Will was looking at me, concerned. "Hey, baby sis. Earth to Stella, you in there?"

"Yeah, sorry." I told Will distractedly.

_Don't go all wonder boy on me now! I thought you understood! My mistake, I don't think I'll trust _you_ again!_

_Stella..._

"Can whoever it is stop using telepathy? It's hurting Crystal." That was Xav, I looked at him to see that he was holding Crystal, who had her hands to her temples. I felt slightly guilty for forgetting that normal telepathy hurts Crystal.

All eyes turned to me. They knew I was the guilty party. I looked at Zed and Sky. I could tell from Sky's expression that she knew I'd just been communicating with her soulfinder. "Sorry Crystal, Xav," said Zed.

"I'm really sorry. I forgot. And no, Dad. Before you ask I don't want a lighter role in the Net. I'll handle the school stuff, like always. It's just a few stupid bi-" I caught myself "-girls. I'm fine guys. Really." With that, I upped and left.

I locked myself in my room. I could hear several people calling me but I blocked it out. I knew I'd just caused everyone a lot of stress that they could've done without and couldn't be bothered to talk to them now. I sat on my bed with my knees against my chest and waited for the tears to come. When they did I let the emotions take me over. My family had picked the worst time to talk this over, because last night I had a really bad dream about a girl who'd had an awful experience with a drunk guy in a nightclub. I moaned inwardly. Zed had Sky. Will had college. My two favourite brothers couldn't keep me as their top priority anymore. My parents had four lovely, new daughters to nurture. They were all prettier than me and definitely less bothersome. What was I now except the Benedict family's unwanted burden?

ZED'S POV

Everyone wanted to go upstairs and comfort Stella in their own ways, but I convinced them she'd be better off alone. I knew Stella's mind. It worked a lot like mine. Anyone trying to talk to talk to her would make her angrier. Sky and I were curled up on a couch, my arms looped around her. "Zed, are you feeling ok about Stella?" Sky asked. She can tell my feelings better than she can tell most people's. She doesn't need her gift to understand me.

"No, I'm not. There's no point lying to you, is there?"

Sky just shook her head. We sat like that for a while.

"You couldn't have done anything, Zed."

"Yes I could. I could've not told Mom and Dad about her dreams upsetting her. She trusted me."

"You were trying to help her."

"I made her angry and upset."

"Stella had an angry aura when she came into the room. She was a bomb waiting for an excuse to explode. If it wasn't you, it would've been your parents or Xav."

"I'm still mad at myself."

"I know. You're stupid." My lips twitched but she could sense she hadn't halted my worries. _It can't be your fault all the time, you know._

"This time it is," I grumbled so low I doubt she heard me.

Sky just sighed and shifted so she was on my lap, her strong gaze locking with mine. She kissed me. It was gentle and angelic, like Sky. She slipped her arms round my neck and I gave up, letting her lead me into losing myself in her. We started to make out passionately. I smiled at Sky and began planting kisses on her forehead, all thoughts of difficult little sisters drifting out of my mind.

CRYSTAL'S POV

I was in the lounge with Diamond. She was surfing the TV channels half-heartedly. Yves and Phee were in the kitchen with Karla and Saul. Yves was cooking dinner. Everyone loves Yves's cooking. We all agreed that it might cheer Stella up a bit. Xav, Will and Victor had gone out for a quick skiing session, promising to be back before dinner was ready. Apparently it cleared their heads, though I had no idea how. Trace and Uriel were somewhere in the house. Probably working on some savanty stuff or something.

I thought about Stella. Before I met Xav, I was a lot like her. I'd flunked school and had very low self -esteem. I was dependant on Diamond. Because of my savant gift which, at the time, felt pretty useless as I didn't know what it was, I felt like the failure of my large savant family. I didn't think Stella realised how much the Benedicts really cared for her. They were all really affected by her outburst. She was usually withdrawn, never showing much emotion or giving stuff away about herself, completely independent. And, as Will had said earlier to ease the tension a little: Stella doesn't make a scene very often, but when she does, she does it good and proper.

"Crystal, is there anything you really want to watch?" Diamond asked me.

I glanced at the screen and then at Diamond. "What's on?"

"Nothing much. You have a look." She passed me the remote. I flicked it to TV guide and looked through. American X Factor, various soap operas and a documentary on crocodiles.

I saw a kids channel, with Tom and Jerry showing. Might as well, I thought. I flicked it to that channel producing a groan from Diamond. "Cartoons. Really?"

"You said something I wanted to watch. It's better than most of the junk on American TV," I said as Tom was hit on the head with a saucepan. I watched Jerry the mouse laugh evilly and smiled.

"Why don't you go and find Trace. Go make out or whatever it is you old married couples do," I suggested to Diamond.

She laughed, "Ok. Sure you're ok on your own here?"

"It's fine Di, you don't need to babysit me anymore. Besides, when Xav comes home, he'll watch with me. He might not want to, but he will."

Diamond laughed again, "God help him then! See you later."

"See you." I settled down to watch, contented for now.


	2. Chapter 2

STELLA'S POV

I heard a quiet knock on my bedroom door.

"Who is it?"

"It's Phee."

"Come in." Phee pushed open the door and stepped tentatively into the room.

"Dinner's ready. Yves cooked so it's bound to be good."

"Coming. What is it?"

"Spaghetti Bolognese. I did hear something about Diamond's chocolate brownies for dessert."

I got up off my bed and smiled at my sister-in-law. "I wouldn't miss it for anything."

Dinner was a cheerful affair. Everyone had put earlier out of their minds, though somehow I didn't think it was the end of the matter. I still gave Zed the cold shoulder, keeping conversation with him to a clipped minimum and making sure every look I gave him was an icy stare. I suspected that the others all noticed the tension I was forcing, but were quite simply too polite to comment.

"So, you going climbing tomorrow, Stella?" Xav asked.

"Yeah, of course." Tomorrow was a Sunday. I always climbed on Sunday afternoons. About a year and a half ago, I'd tried out rock climbing for the first time and discovered I found it somehow addictive and I'd actually begun to get quite good.

"You want one of us to take you over?" The centre was in Aspen, because there wasn't one in Wrickenridge and I couldn't drive. I smiled charismatically, "I always know Brother Express won't let me down."

"So Stella, what got you into rock climbing?" Diamond asked me, trying to keep conversation flowing.

"I tried it last year. We had to pick a new sport for a trial run at school. I... thought it might be interesting." The least likely sport I'd make a fool of myself at, more like.

"Oh she was up trees all the time from a very early age. Couldn't get her down sometimes," said Mom.

"Mom..." I said, blushing slightly at her embarrassing comments.

"No, I mean it Stella. I used to be calling Xav in case you really hurt yourself."

"It's true," said Trace. "I remember being asked to supervise."

"I still have to sometimes," added Yves.

My other brothers nodded in agreement.

"Oh shut up, you guys!" I said. But it was true. I loved the skill and strength involved with rock climbing, but being in trees was wonderfully exhilarating. I loved being high off the ground, with a birds-eye view of everything you can see for miles. Just the feeling of climbing higher and higher away from the rest of the world, escaping, feeling so comfortable there. Like I could touch the sky.

"Go touch her then, she's right next to Zed over there." Xav. I looked at the amused faces around me and put my head in my hands and groaned. I'd let my shields drop whilst lost in my thoughts. They'd all heard my private romanticisings.

"Just kill me now, people." They all laughed, the traitors.

"No can do, sis," Will quipped. More laughter.

"And by the way Xav, that crack about Sky really sucked. Not worth a place in a crappy magazine."

Everyone else practically doubled over laughing at my expense.

"Then why on earth are we all laughing?" Xav feigned puzzlement.

The laughometer reading in the room went off the scale.

"You rats. All of you."

"They're a bunch of horrible teases. I had to put up with this from Zed and Xav all the time before I could shield," said Sky. I admired her sympathy.

"You don't have to tell me! I grew up with them!"

When the laughter had died down, Diamond started to serve pudding. Her brownies were amazing.

"Thanks Diamond, they're delish!" said Sky. Everyone looked slightly puzzled. Sky and Phee both laughed.

"Us Brits should stick together Sky," said Phee. Fortunately, I read British novels, and they weren't alone.

"I get it," I said. "I mean honestly you lot. Delish is obviously short for delicious, duh!"

PHOENIX'S POV

After dessert we all made ourselves scarce. I didn't mind an early night, happy to curl up in bed with my husband. My soulfinder. Yves Benedict. I couldn't supress a happy smile at those thoughts.

"What are you thinking?" Yves broke our contented silence.

"You tell me," I said to him. As a powerful savant and my soulfinder I was used to him tuning into my thoughts.

Yves frowned in concentration, "Hmm, let's see. Something to do with a certain soulfinder perhaps?"

"Just maybe," I smiled and snuggled closer to him.

We lay for a bit before I spoke up.

"Yves, are you worried about Stella?"

"Yes, a bit. She's not been this bad before. It's really straining everyone." That answer was so Yves: matter of fact and to the point. It was one of the things I loved about him.

"Is there anything I can do to help? You and your family are all I have and if there's anything..."

Yves shook his head. "Shh... Don't worry too much. What you eventually get to learn about Stella, is that she's very independent. When she messes up, she sorts it out by herself. People interfering will generally just hack her off. Since she was twelve she's been insistent that we back off when she's in trouble."

"What exactly happened at school?"

"She got in a fight. The other girl provoked her. Marcy was looking for it. She just manipulated Stella into making the first move."

"Marcy sounds nasty."

"Yeah, Marcy Corry. She's the sluttiest girl in Wrickenridge, but don't repeat that."

I smiled, "Don't want to risk your polite image?"

Yves just laughed, stroking my hair.

"I'm more worried about everyone else than Stella. Zed's really worked up. He feels responsible. My brother always finds a way to blame himself even if it's for the most illogical and irrelevant reason possible."

"Yeah, I kinda noticed."

Yves sat up slightly and pulled me close. He closed the gap between our lips and I felt the familiar warm sensation come over me. He sent crackles of fire through my whole body. I matched his moves, kiss with kiss, tongue with tongue. I thought that we would run out of new sensations to explore when we kissed, but we never did. I felt filled up with this tingly feeling. Like a deflated balloon finally getting enough air. I groaned when he eventually pulled away.

"Don't," I whispered.

"My kissing good?"

"Addictive."

"Guess I'll keep at it then if that's ok with you?" This was getting ridiculous. No more small talk. I kissed him again before either of us could say anything more.

STELLA'S POV

I swore out loud. My climbing partner, Alicia, had dropped out. She'd apparently got a skiing injury and wouldn't be climbing for months. As a climber it was essential to have a partner so you could belay each other up and down the walls. Alicia was one of my only friends outside my family. Considering I was a loner at school, this meant my social activity would now be even more limited. I sent Alicia a sympathetic text back suggesting we meet up for coffee sometime. I'd phone the climbing centre first thing and ask if they could find me a new partner. I hoped I'd be successful. Without a partner I'd be limited to bouldering tomorrow.

I was relieved that tomorrow was a Sunday, even if I didn't have a climbing partner. A day without having to deal with Marcy Corry hashtag complete bitch meant I was happy. Marcy and her gang of populars were obsessed with social networks and inserted a hashtag into every sentence. I smiled. God, I really do love irony.

_Do you want me to drive you to Aspen tomorrow? _ Zed.

_Why don't you come to my room and talk about it?_

_What? Really? Is this a truce? You are inviting me into the lion's den?_

_On a temporary basis until I hear what you have to say for yourself._

_I see. So you're still mad?_

_I might be._

_I'm coming now._ I smiled and waited. In 30 seconds Zed was barging through my door.

"Do brothers ever learn to knock?" I said.

"No, I don't think they do. Not if you take Will and Xav as examples."

"And you."

"Yes, and me." There was an awkward pause for a moment.

"So, apology?" I said.

"You know why I did it, Stella. And if it helps, I am sorry, really."

"I know."

"Forgiven?"

I just looked at him, considering.

Zed held out his arms for a hug and I knew he was sincere. Zed Benedict wasn't exactly a huggy person.

"Yes, yes, and yes," I said.

"To what?"

"You can take me to climbing tomorrow, you are forgiven and I'll let you hug me."

"Good," Zed hugged me tightly. Just for a moment, I wanted to un-tense my muscles and cling to Zed forever. Just for a moment, I wanted to let him protect me.

We separated, and he smiled. "See you in the morning, little sis."

"Goodnight, big bro." He left me alone. I felt so much happier now I'd resolved my conflict with Zed. He was a pain in the butt, but I loved him.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hi guys! Thanks for the reviews so far, I really appreciate it. Here's the next chapter, I hope you love it!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, everything belongs to Joss Stirling. Except Jake, of course. He is very truly mine!**

As soon as I woke up, I was on the phone to the centre. They said there was one guy who was available. He was the same age as me and pretty experienced. I waited five minutes while they called him up. They phoned me back and said yes, he was ok with it. I was slightly nervous about climbing with a guy I'd never met, but reminded myself that that was how it was when I first met Alicia. I'd be fine.

The morning was a blur of homework and studying. Sunday morning was my preferred homework slot, if it wasn't all done by the time I needed to go to climbing I thought, screw that! I could live with a couple of pissed off teachers and possible detentions.

Zed took me to the centre at one. I was on the back of his motorbike, a privilege normally reserved for Sky. I thoroughly enjoyed zooming through Wrickenridge and then Aspen behind my uber cool brother. It made me feel cool too, an entirely false illusion that I couldn't help enjoying.

"So, who's the new guy you're climbing with?"

"I don't know. He's the same age as me and pretty experienced, that's all I've been told."

Zed whistled. "Ok. Isn't that a bit... weird?"

"Not really. It's how I met Alicia, remember?"

"Yeah, but she's not a guy."

"Zed! That's ridiculous! What do you think I'm gonna do, run off and marry him after one climb together?"

"No I just saw... Forget it. But be careful."

"You are a total... Oh, I don't know!" Zed laughed. "And when you say saw, you mean saw as in saw?" Zed's gift was premonition.

"Yep."

"Tell me."

"Nope."

"Grrrr."

"You know it's dangerous to reveal what I see."

"I'm your sister."

"Still."

"Please."

"Nope, no spoilers."

Oh, damn him! I swore under my breath, but because of our close proximity on the bike, Zed heard. He laughed, "My little sis has one helluva a mouth!"

"And my big brother doesn't?"

He hooted.

We got to the climbing centre at half one.

"Who's getting me?"

"I would, but I'm taking Sky to the movies. Will's coming in the jeep."

"Ah, ok." I smiled. I loved Will. He and Zed were my favourite brothers. I loved them all, but Zed and Will had always been the kindest to me. Zed really understood my gift and how I dealt with it, but could still be a pain at times. Will was so kind and optimistic. He called me his little star. His Stella star.

Zed's voice brought me back to the present. "So see you Stella."

"Yeah, bye Zed."

"Take care."

I rolled my eyes, "When do I not?"

I walked into the centre before he could answer that.

I stood in the coffee shop, waiting. The place was quite quiet. I knew his name now. Jake. I was curious to know what he'd be like.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and heard a rich, deep voice speaking,

"Hi, are you Stella?" I turned and looked at him. Woah. Oh man. They'd paired me with a God. He was tall, a head more than me. He had dirty blonde hair and breathtaking dark green eyes. He was wearing tight joggers and a white t-shirt. He was really toned, a girl could die for those muscles. His features were pronounced and he had the charming, almost angelic good looks of a guy who is bad at nothing, topped with slightly tanned skin. He had the look of being one of those people who are just effortlessly cool. Ohmygosh! The word hot was invented for this guy.

I blinked myself out of my haze. "Hi. Yes. I'm Stella. Are you Jake?"

"Yeah. Jake Taylor." He shook my hand, he had a strong grip, his touch electrified me. For God's sake, Stella. Get a grip.

"Stella Benedict," I said. He smiled at me. A perfect, full, white smile.

"So," Jake said. "I've not seen you in Aspen before. You new in town?"

I shook my head, "No, no. I'm from Wrickenridge."

"Ok, I see. I'm in junior year at Aspen High."

"Cool. I'm a junior too."

"So how long you been into climbing for?"

"About a year and a half. You?"

"Since I was eleven." Oh God. He must have thought I was an amateur.

"Oh cool. Guess you've a head start on me then."

"Maybe. But experience doesn't always equal skill."

I smiled. "So, should we get started?"

"Yeah. Let's go get kitted up, then see what walls we fancy climbing."

"Sure," I agreed. Maybe this was going to turn out better than I thought. Jake was not only nice to look at but was proving to be really kind. I could cope with this. I really could.

If I was good at climbing, then Jake was expert. He scaled all the walls with ease. I think he thought I was good though. He advised me on colour grades and different techniques kindly but without being condescending. I could feel my attraction for him bubbling over inside me, but I ignored it. We'd done most of the walls. Loads of top rope climbs and plenty of lead.

"Where do you wanna go next?" Jake asked.

"I don't mind. We could do another lead climb or go bouldering."

"How about a challenge?"

I looked at his charming smile, unsure. "Ok. What sort?"

"It may sound kind of crazy."

"That's ok. I like crazy." God, why the hell had I said that? I sounded so ditzy.

Jake just smiled, "Climb an easy wall, like..." He pointed, "That one. But, you wear boxing gloves."

I laughed. "Boxing gloves! Why?"

"It teaches you to use your feet more. I'll go ask if we can borrow them from reception. That ok?"

"Yeah, it's great!" I said. Jake walked off heading to the front desk. This guy was so perfect. He was just... the kind of thing a girl could spend, well, forever, dreaming about. I was getting carried away. He'd not noticed me as a girl. Nothing he'd said so far implicated attraction. Of course it hadn't. This was stupid.

Jake came back with boxing gloves in hand. As we tied ourselves into the ropes he said, conversationally, "Do you have brothers or sisters, Stella?"

Uh-oh. This was gonna get embarrassing.

"Um...yeah. I've got brothers."

"Cool. How many?" I felt myself blushing. Why was my family so not normal?

"Seven."

"Woah!" His eyebrows shot up, but he was just surprised. Not judgemental.

"Yeah. What about you?"

"Two brothers and two sisters," he laughed. "Thought I had it bad."

I smiled, "I'm the baby of the Benedict family. All my brothers are older than me."

Jake laughed again, "Trust me, looking at you I don't see anything remotely baby like." Was that a compliment in disguise? "I'm the third child so I'm not seen as childish or expected to be responsible." There was a dangerous flicker in his eyes when he said that. So maybe he was like Zed then. Addicted to trouble, unlike me. I just seem to always end up landing on my ass in it.

"Yeah, lucky."

"Ok, so you ready to go up?"

I slipped on the boxing gloves, "Yep, ready as I'll ever be."

It was an interesting challenge, but I didn't find it too difficult. Jake did it after me with practiced ease. We went bouldering after that. We could have gone separately then, but we didn't. We both did all the same routes, often setting challenges for who could climb round the furthest or get to the top quickest. I found I really enjoyed myself. I loved the climbing, always. But it was more than just that. It was Jake. He made me laugh and smile, more than I usually would. I wasn't normally shy exactly. Just... closed. Guarded maybe. Jake made it easy for me to open up. For once, I wasn't afraid of being myself.

When it was time to go we got off our harnesses and stood to the side to talk for a while.

"Do you want my number so we can meet up again?" My heart lifted. Stop being dumb, I told myself.

"Yeah sure."

I got my phone out. It was a scratched, hand-me-down android, and felt extremely cheap next to Jake's shiny iPhone. He was so cool. I was really glad we hadn't met in a school context, else he'd never have looked twice at me. We swapped numbers and then walked slowly towards the exit.

"Thanks for coming to meet me, Jake. It was nice of you."

"No trouble. I'm always after new climbing buddies." Climbing buddies! We were buddies now!

"Yeah, but thanks still. I had a really good time. I mean like, a really really good time." I blushed at myself. I could never find the right words when I needed them.

"Yeah me too. When d'you want to climb again?"

"I usually go Tuesdays."

"Tuesday works great for me. What time?"

"Six till eight?"

"Sure."

"Ok then."

"Bye Stella, it was nice meeting you."

_I was, enchanted to meet you, oooooooh..._ Taylor's Swift's lyrical voice in my head. I was a die-hard Swiftie and her songs came to me at the most random moments, except right now it seemed kind of fitting.

"Yeah. You too, Jake."

"See you on Tuesday."

"Ok, bye."

We turned our separate ways once leaving the centre. I spotted Will in the jeep. I walked up to him, waving enthusiastically. I jumped into the car.

"Hi, Will!"

"Hi, Stella Star. How was climbing?"

"Absolutely awesome, Will! Just completely awesome!"

I started to hum the chorus of Enchanted quietly as we drove away, my feelings totally in tune with the lyrics.

Will asked me several times why I was so cheerful. I just said that climbing was really good today. I also told him that I had a new partner called Jake thanks to Alicia's skiing accident. If Will made the connection, he didn't say so.

We got home at the same time as Sky and Zed.

"How was it?" I asked, grinning at them.

"It was brilliant!" said Sky.

"How was climbing?" asked Zed.

"It was brilliant too!" I couldn't say brilliant without putting on a fake English accent which made my brothers laugh and Sky glare.

"Aww I'm just teasing, Sky." I said. She smiled, "I do not sound like that!" We all laughed.

"I know, baby. Your accent is brilliant!" Zed said, stretching out the last word, pronouncing each letter in a way that was so teasingly British.

Sky slapped him, "You evil pig!"

Zed laughed again, "You've got that frowny look on your face, Sky. Now that just won't do."

"It won't?" asked Sky.

"No. Never. I'll just have to... hmm... kiss it away." Zed swept her into his arms and kissed her. Will and I looked at each other. Will coughed politely. They were, naturally, oblivious.

I laughed, "Hey, lovebirds. Get a room, will you?" Sky and Zed stopped kissing, but kept their arms twined round each other.

"Let's go inside," Will said.

"Yeah," Sky agreed.

We walked through the front door and hung up our coats and shoes. I grinned.

"So when're you and the others leaving?" I said cheerily.

"Trace, Diamond, Uriel, Victor and I are leaving Tuesday morning," Will said. "Xav isn't going to medical school until August. Him and Crystal are going back to Venice in a couple months."

"I'll miss you guys."

Will smiled, "I'll only be in Denver, Stella Star."

"But still..."

"Don't sweat it, sis. You've still got Yves and Phee and Sky and me," said Zed.

I grinned, "Yeah well! Do you know who's meant to do the shopping today?"

"Xav, I think," Zed said.

"Tell him he's been saved. Where's Mom's list?"

"Are you joking?" said Zed. "Can I just get this on camera please? Stella Benedict is volunteering, I repeat, volunteering, to do Mom's shopping!"

"Yep. You should try it sometime."

"What's got into you? Did you fall off the wall and hit your head or something."

I grinned at Zed, "Maybe I did. Who knows?" I skipped off, looking for the shopping list, to hear Will whistle in amazement.

SKY'S POV

Will left us alone in the hall looking, for Xav to break the news.

"Stella's certainly happy," I said.

"She is, isn't she?"

"More than I've ever seen her."

Zed grinned, "I might have an idea why."

"Really? What?"

"Saw something."

I giggled, "Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"

"You know I can't say too much about the future."

"Yeah but I'm your soulfinder and I won't tell a soul, I promise."

"Ha ha."

"What did I say?"

"Soulfinder, won't tell a soul."

"Oh. Didn't mean it."

"I know. It's crap anyway." I realised he was trying to distract me from the point and it almost worked. Almost.

"So, what did you see about Stella?"

Zed sighed. "You're impossible. But fine, I'll tell you. But it's our secret, promise?"

"Promise," I said. He bent down to my ear and whispered it to me.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hey, just a short chapter today. I had to do a lot of editing for this because there are some parts I wasn't happy with. I was rock climbing earlier, so that was my inspiration for the Stella/Jake scene. I hope you love it! I might try to do another chapter today or a bonus one during the week, but no promises. Thanks for the reviews, I'd love it if you told me even more about what you think of the story! Remember, constructive criticism is welcome! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Joss Stirling except Stella, Jake, Alicia and Marcy!**

STELLA'S POV

All the older brothers left on Tuesday morning. I climbed with Jake that evening and then the Thursday after that and then of course, the Sunday. We climbed three times a week, every week, occasionally staying for a coffee and a chat afterwards. Sometimes we even went Fridays for an extra session.

He was always smooth, never missing a beat, but certain things he said to me made me think he was flirting. I gathered that Jake was sporty and an A-grade student, popular with girls and everyone else. He never mentioned a girlfriend, though, and I couldn't figure out why this made me feel pleased. Then there was this sort of strange look which often came into his eye, like danger and risk and free falling. Like he had a tiny spark inside that wanted to burn up to the surface and become a roaring flame. As we got to know each other I surprised myself by starting to trust him.

One day, the Centre played We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together and I started singing halfway up a wall. I couldn't stop myself singing along in front of Jake and he started to laugh. I closed my mouth and went instantly red. Why could I never control my blush?

"I'm sorry. It's just you are so..."

"So what?" I stared at him.

"You never stop surprising me. You like this song then?"

"I love it." (Every time I hear it I can think satisfying thoughts about punching my ex in the face).

"I'm kind of a Taylor Swift fan actually. I've even got a Red Tour t-shirt I got at one of her concerts." Why the hell was I telling him this?

His face turned serious. "You will wear it next time I see you."

"I will?"

"I've got to see you show your true colours." He said solemnly. I snorted, embarrassment fading away.

I did wear the t-shirt, actually. Jake started calling me Swiftie. I informed him how unoriginal that was so he tried to combine Stella and Swift. He came up with Stwelliftie. I told him to get lost, except less politely.

That wasn't all that went on between Jake and I at climbing. We ended up with several "inside jokes" that weren't funny to anyone else. His jokes appealed to my sense of humour; he had a talent for making me laugh. It was strange but Jake even seemed to find _me _funny, mostly when I wasn't intending to be.

One day I was tackling a particularly hard boulder problem, sweat pouring off me. Jake was standing behind me giving me directions.

"Swap your feet!" he said, as if it was as simple as that. I gritted my teeth.

I managed to haul myself up a little bit further, "That's it! Now I'm just stuck."

"No you aren't! If you smear with your right foot and put your weight on the left side of your body-"

"I will fall!"

"If you'd let me finish my sentence, you could then push off and stretch up."

"Easy. For. You. To say," I said between breaths. My arms were now aching. I heard him sigh and then a new burst of determination surged through my blood. I moved my foot blindly, dangling for a second. Then I managed to jam my ankle between two holds and levered myself up to the top that way. I slammed my hand against the ceiling with a definitive, "Done!"

I heard Jake's voice below, "That wasn't exactly standard technique."

I dropped down right in front of him with a ground-shaking thump, my back pushing against his chest, "Yeah, but it worked." I then noticed he'd put his hands on my arms to steady me. I felt his breath tickle the back of my neck as he laughed softly. Then I turned to face him and the moment was past.

I rubbed my arms where he'd touched me, "God, your hands are hot."

He instantly took a step away from me, "Did I hurt you?"

"What? No, of course not. What are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry. It's - it's nothing." He had a guarded expression on his face.

"Jake?" I asked tentatively.

"What?" he said, too calmly.

"Is it something I said?"

"No, there's nothing, really. Don't worry about it." I just looked at him. "And you know what, it's time to go anyway. We should go get our stuff off."

"Yeah." I stared at him. What had I done to make him so awkward?

We got our harnesses and helmets off and I said, "Jake do you want a coffee before we go? I've got a few dollars on me."

"I'm sorry, I can't."

"Oh, well ok, another time then."

Jake smiled but it looked forced, "Sure. Well, I'll see you."

He turned without another word and walked towards the door.

I was unsettled by that incident, but next time we met he was just like normal so I didn't let myself dwell on it.

Marcy Corry and the other girls at school still made life a pain, but I felt less and less like a loner now. Sky and her friends, Tina, Nelson and Zoe let me tag along with them sometimes and Zed was always watching my back. For the umpteenth time I wished Alicia went to Wrickenridge High, but she wasn't even from Aspen. She lived in Silverbranch, another nearby town. I'd met up with her for coffee as promised. We'd had a good girly chat and giggle. I had just come back from seeing Alicia that Saturday. I was sat on my bed, thinking, as I so often did. I let my mind wander in directions I'd never expected it to go.

I still wished I had more friends at school. It wasn't always like this. I wasn't always a loner, wasn't always regarded as a misfit. I'd had friends once. Until I was fourteen and it happened. Long story short: my abusive ex-boyfriend. Ryan. I was struck dumb in love. What I had seen in him not even I could see. He was one of the jocks in Zed's year. I was a cute little freshman and he saw me as an opportunity. He used me. He turned me against my friends, made me alienate myself from them in order to stay loyal to him. Then I told him things. Private, personal things that I shouldn't have told _anyone_. Even before he spread my secrets to everyone, I should've known. He was cruel, he sneered at me and called me names. I wasn't even scared of him. If I had been scared I could've forgiven myself. No, I was just blinded by my stupid love. I couldn't see him for who he was, I couldn't see anything. All I could see was how wonderful it would be to be the one he loved. I remember when he spread all the rumours, even then I still forgave him. It took Zed getting into a fight with him to make me see sense. Not even sense, more like sanity.

I felt a slight tear on my cheek remembering. My brothers had saved me. They'd shown me how to save myself. Ryan was the reason for my unpopularity. But who cares about being popular in school. I had Zed and Sky and her friends. And more importantly, school aside, I had my parents, my brothers, their soulfinders, Alicia and Jake. A small amount of people who cared for me, but an amount all the same. I smiled. Ryan was behind me. He could affect my reputation, but he couldn't affect my happiness, because popularity and happiness aren't the same thing.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hey! Quick chapter just to keep it going. It's a contest between my laptop and my maths homework, my laptop always wins! Hope you love!**

**Disclaimer: It belongs to Joss.**

The Tuesday a week and a half before Xav and Crystal were leaving for Venice was an eventful day. I was eating lunch alone, I hadn't seen any of the seniors today so I guessed there must be something on. I was enjoying the meal, it was fish and chips and I loved it. Then Marcy and her gang came to sit opposite me. I really couldn't be bothered with this today.

"Hey, slut," Marcy said.

"What do you want?" I said shortly. "Not pleased to see us then, Stella?" I glared at her. "Well, that's a shame."

"Just shut up!"

"What's up, loser? Don't like being shown up by us cool girls?"

"Go away, or I'll...!"

"What, beat us up?" Marcy smirked and the other girls started giggling. They advanced round the table. I got up and took a step away from them. "Doesn't look like that brother of yours and his midget girlfriend are around to protect you, eh?" Marcy mocked.

"Leave me alone, Marcy. Just what is your problem?"

"My problem? I don't know. Maybe I don't like sluts who walk around here like they own the place."

''The only slut in here is you!"

"Shut your face, Benedict!" Marcy snarled.

"If you shut yours, Corry!" I replied in turn.

"Why's it matter to you, bitch!"

Some of the other girls started chanting, "Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!"

"Stop. It."

"Why should we? You need to acknowledge what you really are, Stella!" she spat my name out like it was a bad taste leftover in her mouth. "You're nothing but a little slut! And a slut with no friends, to add to that. The Ryan lover." That was it. My resolve snapped. I couldn't stand being associated with him in any way and that was just the last straw. She'd hit me where it hurt.

"Don't you dare, ever, ever, call me that again!"

"Ryan lover, Ryan lover!" Marcy taunted. I growled, like a tiger readying for the kill, and sprang. I lunged at Marcy and turned round to push her against the wall. I twisted her arm round to an awkward position. Her friends gasped.

"If you move a centimetre I'll break it! I can do it, you know. I'll snap it just like that!" I got the split second satisfaction of seeing her, my nemesis, Marcy Corry, whimper in genuine fear, before we were separated by a teacher.

"What is going on here, girls?" Miss Collins, a history teacher asked.

"Stella attacked me, Miss. She was threatening me. Everyone saw, didn't you?" Her friends all nodded.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Stella?"

"They were teasing me, Miss. Calling me names."

"We were just being friendly. We wanted to have lunch with Stella. But then she started getting angry, she told us to go away and then I told her to calm down and before I knew it she was attacking me, threatening me. Isn't that right?" Marcy addressed her friends. They all nodded.

"They're lying, Miss," I said weakly.

"Stella, we all saw what happened, it will be better for you if you tell the truth. I think you owe Marcy an apology," said Miss Collins. I tried, I really tried to find the words, but they caught in my throat and suddenly I was saying the opposite of what I was meant to.

"No. I can't apologize. I won't apologize for something that I am frankly not sorry I did." My voice was calm and measured, but I was sure everyone could see the blazing fire behind my eyes.

After that it was all a blur. Teachers yelling at me. The principal's office. My family arriving. Mom and Dad yelling at me. Being told I was suspended for three days. The stony silence in the car. My brothers telling me I had been irresponsible. My anger flaredup and a general shouting and swearing match commenced.

"I told you already; Marcy _provoked _me!"

"That doesn't mean you had to try and break her bones!" yelled Dad.

"Exactly," said Mom, "If you are having problem dealing with your abilities then you should have _come to us!" _God, my mom is super scary when she's angry.

"How could I? How can I _ever_ when I know you are just going to patronize me! I'm sixteen years old; I can look after myself!"

"What did I tell you, Saul? Sixteen and you think you know everything!"

"I think everyone should just _calm_ down and try to be civil," Yves said slowly.

"We're not toddlers, Yves, you can quit with the playground friends thing already."

"How could you!" boomed Mom, "after everything we've done for you."

"And that's what, exactly?"

"_Stella_," said Xav, in his responsible big brother voice. And this is Xav. He shouldn't _have_ a big brother voice. "You know you acted wrongly. We understand that she started it but that doesn't excuse anything."

I huffed, "But she deserved it!" I then called Marcy an unrepeatable name that was so vulgar everyone just stopped and stared at me for five seconds before Mom exploded.

"And what kind of language do you think that is, young lady?" her face was hot with fury. Oh dear, oh dear, what had I done now?

"The truth!" I fired back. "Look, Zed agrees with me. He's said so before!"

"Well. Yes. But you still shouldn't have-"

I cut him off: "And what would you have done differently? Calmly tried to reason with her, I'm sure!" They were all acting like I was the only volatile one.

"This is all beside the point. You're grounded, Stella and that is final," Dad announced. I glowered at the world, pouting. Sixteen going on seven.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Chapter 6 is FINALLY HERE! So, I'm sorry for the delay but writing and posting during the week is difficult for me because of school. I've spent the whole week writing this chapter. It's quite an important part in the story so I wanted to get it right. I need to say a special thank you to my awesome best friend Phemie, who has agreed to beta my chapters from this one onwards. So thanks, Phemie, for having grammar which is better than mine! :) Hope you guys love this chapter and I'll try to do at least one more by the end of Sunday. Disclaimer: I own nothing. Love you all!**  
>I snuck out of the house through my bedroom window (shimmying down the drainpipe wasn't a problem) and got a bus to climbing. I was supposed to meet Jake at five. I got there a mess and fifty minutes late. Jake was sitting in the cafe, hand wrapped around a coffee cup, and oh my God, he looked good. He wasn't frustrated or impatient, just sitting there. The sunlight that streamed in through the windows glinting in his dirty blonde hair, his intense green eyes alight with their usual flame. He was the kind of flawlessness I could only dream of imitating.<br>"Hi," my voice was somehow shaking.  
>"Hey,"<br>"I'm really, really, really sorry, Jake,"  
>How did this happen? What had I done? Risen to the bait like an idiot as soon as Marcy mentioned Ryan.<br>"It doesn't matter. Everyone's late sometimes," Except if you're Mr Jake Perfection Taylor.  
>"I could've called,"<br>"Could you? 'Cause no offence, but you look pretty stressed out right now and I'm guessing there's a good reason," I stared at him for a minute, thinking.  
>"Yes, there is a reason. It's not a good one though,"<br>"You're going to try to not tell me, aren't you?"  
>"I don't know. That makes it sound like you're going to try and get me to tell you,"<br>"What makes you think that?"  
>"Who knows? Maybe I'm imagining things. Well are you?"<br>"You could tell me," he said softly. "I know it helps to talk about things,"  
>"Let's just climb,"<br>"Well we've only got about half an hour now. Hardly worth it by the time we're kitted up,"  
>"Oh Jake, I'm sorry. This is all my fault,"<br>"Never mind that, Stella. Look, I consider myself your friend. Friends help each other. Let me help you. Talk to me,"  
>"I can't,"<br>"Please,"  
>"But..."<br>"Climbing buddies? Come on, spill,".  
>I stared at him. All the anger and hurt and frustration in my life seemed to compress in that second.<br>"Have you ever done something, something that has changed everything and then every time that you think it's behind you it comes up again and again and you just wish more than anything that you could go back and change it and tell yourself what you know now?"  
>"That's one hell of a question. But yeah. I know how it feels to have a secret that changes everything."<br>"Look, Jake… I've messed up big before and I'm trying to figure out if this tops my record or not."  
>He looked at me with an unreadable expression.<br>"It's just there's this girl, and she kind of hates my guts because of this other thing that I was just talking about, but anyway, I kinda lost it earlier and attacked her... and then some-,"  
>Jake was looking at me intently. His gorgeous green eyes boring into me listening, hanging onto every word.<br>I sighed. "In a nutshell, I got myself suspended from school."  
>"Ah," he said.<br>"Uh, ok. Is that a positive 'ah' or a negative 'ah'?"  
>"Well I think you're right about the messing up part plus you definitely have a temper and it wasn't worth getting suspended over but… did you make the most of the opportunity?"<br>I grinned, "She was terrified of me."  
>Jake smiled, "Remind me not to piss you off, like, ever."<br>"You sound like Zed every time we make up after a fight."  
>Jake's eyes seemed to dull, "Who's Zed?" He looked angry. I wondered why.<br>"My nearest brother. Everyone says we're so alike but… I don't know."  
>Jake's face had relaxed into a smile, "It's hard with brothers and sisters. Sometimes the similarities between two people can set off tempers."<br>"Yeah. Look, I'm sorry for just kind of dumping all my problems on you like this."  
>He smiled, "I asked for it, didn't I? Now would you let me buy you a coffee?"<br>"If you insist. Milk and one sugar please."  
>I watched him go and felt a sudden rush of attraction. Jake was really cute. And really nice. I knew I couldn't let myself fancy him but I was afraid it was already happening. Had I not been happier with him than with anyone else lately? Why was I feeling like he could understand me? How could he understand my reputation? How could he understand my off the scale ex problems? How could he understand my gift? Hadn't I spent more time thinking about him than anything else lately? Hadn't I wanted to see him so badly when everything else in my life was a wreck? But he was so cool. Not just out of my league; in terms of social circles, we were on different planets.<br>Jake came back, breaking me out of my reverie. We sipped in peaceful silence. When I'd drained my coffee, he spoke.  
>"Smile,"<br>"What?"  
>"Smiling produces chemicals that make you happy,"<br>"So does chocolate," I said matter-of -factly.  
>Jake laughed and it was infectious. So I smiled.<br>"See! Now tell me, what are you smiling at?"  
>I shrugged, "Nothing,"<br>"Yeah, exactly. But you feel better now, right?"  
>"I guess,"<br>"That's because smiling at nothing is better than not smiling at all,"  
>My smile widened. I opened my mouth and then realised what I was going to say. I love you. Just like that, just thinking it, made me realise that I really was feeling something for him. Something beautiful and terrifying and unchangeable. That scared me more than anything else that happened to me already that day.<br>"You feel sorry for me, don't you?"  
>He shook his head, "I'm your friend. I want to help you,"<br>"That's what they all say."  
>"Is it? 'Cause then you must be more popular than you realise,"<br>We finished our drinks and walked to the door in silence. I was thinking. Was it just me, or was there something ever so slightly off about our conversation? I couldn't put my finger on it, but had I actually told him that I was unpopular? I didn't even remember hinting at it. Maybe the "there's a girl who hates my guts" part was some sort of clue.  
>We said goodbye and I thanked him for the coffee. Then I began walking up the road to the bus stop when I heard someone calling my name.<br>"Stella!" I turned to see Jake sprinting towards me. He stopped, breathless.  
>"What's up?"<br>"I need to ask you something."  
>"Ok. Shoot."<br>"Look you're gonna kill me for not saying this earlier but, I- will you... I mean what I'm trying to say is... will you go out with me?"


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Hey guys! As promised here is another chapter from me! I don't know when the next update will be, it depends on my brilliant(as Sky would say) "editor", Phemie. Don't blame us, we just have extraordinarily complicated lives! I know what it feels like to wait for a fanfic update forever and I'm determined not to be a writer like that. I'm currently writing Chapter 9 so fingers crossed I'll get the next two up by the end of this weekend. Hope you love!Disclaimer: As usual all credit belongs to Joss Stirling.**

I was breathless, "As in go out on a date? Like a date date?"  
>"Yep. A date date,"<br>He was asking me out, I was being asked out. On a date. With Jake. Jake Taylor liked me, he liked me. He had to like me!  
>I smiled, "Yes. Yes Jake, I will go out with you,"<br>"Ok then," he said softly.  
>I felt a blush creeping across my face.<br>"Do you want to go to the movies, or the Wrickenridge diner?"  
>"I love the diner," I said. I found myself coming off shy. The last time I'd dated anyone had been Ryan. I'd kill myself if he had left me with a nervousness around guys.<br>"Are you free Friday night?" he asked.  
>"I think so," I grinned. Ok, yes, I would still be grounded on Friday. But there are always ways around little things like that.<br>"That's great! So, I'll see you there then?"  
>"Definitely!"<br>Jake smiled. That easy, honest, beautiful smile I'd grown so used to.

Everything after that was distorted. I got home and was yelled at five times. My parents said I was grounded for an extra week. We'd see about that. They'd always kept my brothers on a pretty long leash. It wasn't fair. They'd let me sort things out myself before. It'd always worked too, apart from a few well needed interventions from my brothers over Ryan, and I was still grateful to them for that. But this was different.  
>I couldn't quite contain my feelings, if I'm honest.<br>As soon as I got a moment alone, I was calling Alicia. I told her quickly about Jake and by the time I got to the part about him asking me out, she was squealing down the phone line.  
>"You are kidding me! Jake Taylor! He's the hottest date in anywhere!"<br>"Really?"  
>"Yes! Well, him and the Benedict boys!"<br>"Oh, shut up!"  
>"Seriously! You don't need to live in Wrickenridge to have heard of the Benedicts. I never even knew they had a sister until I met you," Alicia mused. "I know quite a few girls who've dated Zed, though. Is he still taken?"<br>I snorted, "He's practically married!"  
>"What about the others?"<br>"They're all in serious relationships, a couple of them are even married already, literally. Uriel, Victor and Will are single, though. And they are too old for you. Off limits, I'm serious,"  
>"Two of your brothers are married?"<br>"Trace and Yves. It's getting on my nerves, everyone is disgustingly in love,"  
>Alicia laughed, "So are you, now,"<br>"Oh, shut up!"  
>"So what are you going to wear?"<br>"Actually, that is kinda the reason I called..."  
>"I see. Fashion crisis 101,"<br>I paused, "Ish,"  
>"So what were you thinking?"<br>I told her, colourfully, that I didn't have a clue. "He never told me what the dresscode is, I've got nothing smart enough, but even if I did I could be way too overdressed! How do I know? I could turn up in jeans and a tank when he's in a suit and tie! So help me!"  
>"I can help you. But only if you're free for shopping tomorrow night?"<br>"You bet," I said, again, ignoring the fact that I was grounded. I didn't plan to let it last for even that long.

We agreed to meet up at six the next day. I was still anxious, though. I didn't have to go to school for the next three days, something I should have felt sorry about, but I honestly couldn't help enjoying myself. I lounged around the house, watched TV, listened to Swiftie songs, and, though I'd rather have my toenails pulled out than admit it, thought about Jake. I wondered how far this whole thing would go. I wondered if he liked me as much as I liked him, or was this just an arm candy thing?  
>Before I knew it, I had to leave to go and meet Alicia. I figured if I just left the house whenever I wanted there would be nothing they could do to stop me. Nothing legal, anyway. Yes, it was a risk even Zed wouldn't take, but Zed had a life and I wasn't backing out just when I'd started to find mine. Just before I left, I bumped into Crystal in the hall.<br>"Hey," she said.  
>"Hi," I replied.<br>"Where are you going?"  
>"I'm getting a glass of milk from the kitchen. Is that allowed?"<br>"Right. Sorry,"  
>"Yeah, well see you later!"<br>I rushed to catch my bus without giving Crystal another thought.

CRYSTAL'S POV

I watched Stella go lazily down the stairs, brooding. I was hoping she'd have a spare half hour for me to use my gift on her. With practice I'd grown adept enough, I thought, to start Soulseeking. Oh well, if Stella was grounded, maybe her parents wouldn't want to start with her soulfinder just yet. I'd ask about it later.

STELLA'S POV

Alicia and I shopped, shopped and shopped some more. I tried on outfit after outfit, Alicia occasionally buying things for herself when she saw something nice. It took us three hours before I got what I wanted. I ended up with a midnight blue dress. It had thin straps on the shoulders, and I was conscious that you could see my bra straps underneath them but Alicia told me to get over myself so I tried to ignore it. The dress had a floaty knee length skirt which twirled with me when I spun round. It could pass as smart casual and was just the kind of thing I liked: not too much clevage, simple. Alicia persuaded me to buy a pair of high heeled sandals to go with it. She wanted me to go for blue but I thought Jake would appreciate the humour of a red colour contrast. They were higher than I'd ever normally wear but what the hell. I wanted him to see me as me and I am reckless (as shown by the outrageous height) and impulsive(displayed by the crazy colour).  
>Alicia would not be satisfied until I agreed, grudgingly, to let her come round the next day to mess around with my hair. It was around seven by then, so I texted Yves to say I was eating with Alicia, and I'd be back sometime. Then I turned my phone off. That was all they'd get. We had a McDonald's and ordered the Michelin style cuisine of three portions of chicken nuggets and extra fries,(quite the culinary master piece) which we shared. Alicia moaned about her injury and teased me about Jake. I tried not to let on how into him I was. That was private. That was special.<p>

XAV'S POV

We were just starting to eat when we heard a phone beep.  
>Yves fished in his pocket and brought it out.<br>He read aloud: "I'm eating with Alicia. I'll be back sometime,"  
>I snorted, "How helpful,"<br>"It's from Stella?" Zed asks.  
>"Mmhmm."<br>"Oh dear," Mom said.  
>"Should we call her?" That was Dad.<br>"She will have her phone off," Zed said, seemingly bored.  
>"Do you think she's really with Alicia?" asked Phee.<br>Zed and Sky exchanged glances. The kind of glances I used to exchange with Will after we'd been accused of stealing cookies from the jar when we were little kids.  
>"Most likely," Yves answered his soulfinder, keeping his tone carefully neutral. "She doesn't spend time with anyone else these days."<br>"I thought she'd be here..." Everyone else looked at Crystal in surprise.  
>I could see an annoyed look in Zed's eye. So did everyone.<br>"Why's that?" Dad asked.  
>I squeezed Crystal's hand under the table.<br>"I think I might be able to Soulseek for Stella. I've grown stronger since Venice and I think I'm ready." Crystal worked very hard to help us before Trace and Diamond's wedding, her gift having lied dormant for her whole life. She hadn't yet been strong enough to find anyone's soulfinder for them.  
>"That's great," Mom clapped her hands over enthusiastically.<br>"Don't push it though, Crystal," I said, "None of us will mind if you can't,"  
>Crystal looked at me with worried eyes and I just wanted to go and kiss her right there.<br>"I know," she said.  
>Later, Crystal and I went for a walk beside the ski slopes, and we talked.<br>"Xav, what happens if I mess it up?"  
>I glanced at her, beside me.<br>"You won't. I know you won't," I said with absolute certainty.  
>"But what if I do? What if I'm a completely rubbish Soulseeker?"<br>"Crystal, I love you but do you know what the worst thing about you is?"  
>She looked at me with adorable round eyes. How could she not see how incredibly beautiful she was.<br>"You're inability to see how wonderful you are. You're strong, Crystal, and you're beautiful and you're brave and you're perfect and I believe in you. I believe in you and I know you can do it."  
>She grinned at me, "Maybe you can believe enough for both of us."<br>I pulled her close to me and then kissed her and kissed her until neither of us could think about anything else.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Chapter 8 is here. Sorry for the delays, my fault, I had a very busy day yesterday. Phemie has edited it again. I'm going to ****_try_**** to get Chapter 9 up today but if not it'll be there tomorrow. I'll update lots during this week and especially on Friday because I have a day off school on Friday. Yay! I'll be away on holiday from next Saturday to Wednesday so don't expect any updates till the Thursday after but I'll make it up beforehand I promise. I own nothing and I love ya all!**

I continued with my leaving-the-house-whenever-I-wanted-and-ignoring-everyone-else campaign and went to the climbing centre and climbed for what was almost all day. I bouldered lots and used the auto belays, although there were only a few basic routes on auto belay to use. I asked for boxing gloves, Jake style and challenged myself with colours and features and silent feet. I wanted to do something with myself today and kind of also wanted to avoid my family.  
>As I climbed I thought, and I realised that what I felt for Jake was big and overwhelming and insane. Zed had told me Crystal wanted to Soulseek for me. I should have been pleased. But for now I didn't want a perfect, meant to be, written in the stars match. I wanted a thrill ride, I wanted uncertainties. I wanted to take risks. I wanted to love in a rollercoaster rush, never knowing for sure what would happen, how long it might last. I wouldn't even mind heartbreak and tears, if it came to that. I just wanted to <em>feel<em> with my whole entire being. I didn't want a cosmicly arranged match. I just wanted Jake. Jake, beautiful, understanding Jake, who had suddenly and unknowingly made me question everything I'd ever been brought up to believe in. It scared the hell out of me. _It could kill me,_ I thought, _it could change my life for ever. It could kill me it could kill me,_ and you know what? I didn't care.

I convinced my family to let Alicia come round,"I haven't seen her for ages and she's like a really good friend and we agreed on this weeks back and she's not a bad influence at all, she's an A-grade student and everything! Oh please, please, please, please, _please!"_ There were good things about being my parents' youngest child and only daughter.  
>So Alicia did come the next day and messed around with my hair and make up.<br>"You will look so great! He won't be able to resist you!" was her constant refrain. She decided on ringlets and I argued they were just for blondes but she wasn't having it.  
>"You watch too much TV, I mean look at you! You look stunning! You could set a new trend among the pop stars and actresses: brunette ringlets! It's perfect. Sophisticated, but not middle aged. Attractive, but not slutty..."<p>

Then it was make up. I never wore much normally but according to Alicia, Jake would know that so I'd have to make an effort. Make it look like I care.

We settled with a layer of mascara, bronze eye shadow and a deliberately light touch of blusher. We were locked in a debate about lippy when Yves came in. Alicia was carefully testing out an outrageous purple colour and jumped when he pushed open the door, badly smudging the lipstick. Great, now I had a purple cheek. Jake would surely love that. Yves raised an eyebrow at the contents of my cosmetics box spread out on the floor.  
>"Don't you know how to knock?" I said. He ignored that.<br>"Mom's made dinner. Are you guys going out? Alicia can stay if she wants,"  
>I glanced at Alicia. "Sure," she said. "I'm not under time pressure. And we are nowhere near finished<br>yet,"  
>I groaned then looked back at my brother. "Zed and Xav will behave?"<br>_Dad has impressed on them that it's a non-savant evening. No food will be flying._  
>"They'll play nice," he said for Alicia's benefit.<br>_If someone hides the fruit bowl,_ I added mentally. Yves smirked.  
>"Give us a sec, then we're coming,"<br>I wiped off all the lipstick and blusher but Alicia demanded I keep the eye make up. I didn't have the strength to argue.  
>The table was pretty atmosphereless. Sky was at home and Zed was in a dark mood, not being able to contact her telepathically because of Crystal. My parents and Yves kept the conversation going, politely asking Alicia questions. The subject of my suspension, and just school period, was carefully swerved. Xav made the occasional joke, Crystal and Phee spoke up every so often, Zed brooded, while I daydreamed. With my shields on full power, of course.<br>I sank into a world of imagination. Jake, Jake, Jake. Jake touching me, holding me. Kissing me. I imagined how he would look: smart and sexy and so damned beautiful. I imagined how he would be gentle with me at first when we kissed and touched, unlike Ryan who was rough and lusting. Then, Jake would get stronger, harder. Kissing me with passion and emotion and love. I imagined him ducking down to whisper in my ear, "Stella, Stella. Stella, I think I love-"  
>"Stella!" Zed had his hand on my arm. I blinked, faintly surprised.<br>"What?" Everyone at the table was giving me worried looks.  
>"Stella, Mom was talking to you," said Yves. I felt myself blushing. I was still shielded. They didn't know. They couldn't know.<br>I glanced at Mom, "Sorry?"  
>"I asked if you were finished, darling,"<br>"About five times," added Xav, for once no humour in his voice.  
>"Yes. Yes I'm very finished, thank you,". I quickly jiggled my knife and fork so they were straight. Mom collected my plate, adding it to a pile of everyone else's that I hadn't noticed.<br>_Were you having a vision?_ said Dad, telepathically.  
><em>No. Not at all I was just... miles away.<em> 1.5 miles away, in the Wrickenridge diner, to be exact.  
><em>Are you sure you're ok?<em> Yes, better than I ever had been, thanks to Jake.  
><em>Of course. Just distracted.<em> I shut off the link before he could reply.  
>"Who wants ice cream?" said Mom.<br>Crystal grinned, "Moi!"  
>Phoenix laughed, "A small scoop, please, Karla,"<br>"Sure," added Alicia.  
>Yves shook his head but Zed and Xav were grinning.<br>"You ready for this, little brother?"  
>"Always," said Zed.<br>Phee groaned, "Not this again."  
>"Don't leave me out," Crystal said, "Dessert eating contests aren't just for boys."<br>"Or just for Benedicts," added Alicia.  
>"You up for a contest, Stella?" Zed asked.<br>I grinned at them all, "Bring. It. On!"


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Special thanks to Phemie, who sent me this as a leaving present! She's going away from now until Saturday and I'll be missing her loads (you'll probably be missing her betas loads). In this chapter it's about to get hot between Stella and a certain someone! Someone said in the reviews, what is Stella's gift. I've not mentioned it much so I understand you forgetting. It's memory recall, see Chapter one for more details.**

**Disclaimer: Joss Stirling created, Phemie edited, I had fun!**

The next two days dragged by slowly. I covered everyone else's shifts on the ski slopes, studied, and did the grocery shopping, determined to keep busy. I had caught the tail ends of thoughts about Crystal and her Soulseeking being ready, but I knew, I was certain, that _I_ wasn't ready. It wasn't that I didn't want a soulfinder, it was just that I didn't want anything but Jake.

Alicia met me at the ski slopes just before my shift finished and we walked back to my house. She was going to style my hair and do my makeup before the date, at half six. I had planned this deliberately so no one would be able to stop me by informing me about Crystal and her gift. I was shielded much more heavily than I would be even normally.

As we walked, I was mentally debating whether to trust my sisters-in-law to help me get out of the house without being questioned. I didn't want my brothers to know and Crystal would advise against it because she knew my soulfinder was within reach. So that left Sky and Phoenix. I'd have to check what they knew about Crystal, see if they were likely to mention it to my brothers. Soulfinders tell each other everything. I could handle Yves getting wind of my date, though of course it would just lead to being pushed into the Soulseeking thing even more. But if Zed found out, well, he would be desperate to get me meeting my soulfinder, he'd be horrifyingly over protective. And Sky had weak shields whilst her soulfinder had a special knack for reading thoughts. Plus Sky might not even be here tonight. I mean sure, she and Zed were inseperable, but her non savant parents were constantly nagging her to spend more time at home, with them. She moaned about it to Phee, Crystal and I often enough. Concluding that Phoenix was the obvious choice.  
>Once home, I left Alicia in my room while I "went to the restroom." I leaned against the door and reached out to Phee.<br>_Phoenix?_  
><em>Stella. Are you okay, is something wrong?<em> I pushed gently at her outer thoughts, probing so lightly that she wouldn't notice. I was good at this.  
><em>No, no. Just...<em> I paused, speed thinking. Do you know where Crystal and Xav are?* As I said Crystal's name I found the root of the thought I'd brought to the surface of her mind. I followed gently, only grazing the surface but grazing it enough.  
><em>Gone out to smooch,<em> I could feel her grin. She didn't know about Crystal. Remarkable. I didn't think there were any secrets left in this family.  
><em>Right. Phee, can you keep a secret, even from everyone.<em>  
><em> I guess I can. Why?<em>  
><em> Look, I've got a date tonight, but I can't let my brothers, especially Zed, know yet..He would quiz me on it and be really paranoid about stuff. And obviously Mom and Dad are still trying to keep me grounded. Can you help me get out unnoticed? Favour for your sister?<em>  
>I can feel her considering, <em>Of course. What do you need me to do?<em>

PHOENIX'S POV

If Stella had grown up in the Community, she would never have trusted me for a second. I grew up in a hierarchy of thieves where everyone was everyone's enemy. You survrived by never letting your guard down. Shielding, mind reading and mental trickery were second nature to me. I could tell when someone was probing me, and was expert at masking my real thoughts when they did it. I knew full well that she was avoiding the issue of finding her soulfinder. Yet, I was her friend, not really her sister. All the other Benedicts would have disagreed with me on this, but it wasn't my place to tell Stella what was good for her. She had seven brothers for that, and she wouldn't be able to dodge the issue for ever. The girl had a limited social life, a fling with some guy would be good for her self esteem. Besides, it might be an awful date, in which case she'd want her soulfinder more than ever. And, if it was a good date, well... it was just a date. It couldn't, it wouldn't, last.

STELLA'S POV

It wasn't a good date; it was the best three hours of my life. I got ready with Alicia and then Phee covered for me as I left the house, making sure to be ready to distract anyone who she sensed was coming near the front door.  
>Just before I left I checked myself over in the mirror once more. Blue skater dress, check. Red high heels, check. Ringlets, check. My signature one red and one blue earring, check. Eye shadow, check. Mascara, check. Red lipstick, check. Blusher, check. Was there something missing? On a whim, I rooted in my jewellery box quickly and found a rainbow loom band I had made a couple of weeks ago. It was pretty. It was eye catching. It was crazy, wearing it with a dress and heels and make up. It was also totally, totally me.<br>I walked Alicia to the bus stop and she wished me luck, again. She told me how great I looked, again. And she reminded me to call her when it was over, again.  
>I sent a text to Yves:<p>

_Gone out. Don't save food 4 me. C u l8r. Stella xx_

That was that. I was early. I sauntered down the high street, taking my time. I had to resist the urge to hum a Taylor Swift song under my breath.

Once I got to the diner I was just three minutes early. He might not be here yet, I thought. In my experience, guys were deliberately late to make an impression. I stopped outside, took a long moment to breathe, and walked in.

When I saw him standing there, even Taylor left me. Jake was wearing tight jeans and a black leather jacket. He was standing and waiting and running his fingers through his hair. His eyes met mine. My lips silently formed his name. I'll never know what, but something happened between us in that split second. The rest of the world seemed to drop away. It was just him and me and this thing, the thing that was both in his eyes and in my heart. It was electricity. It was magic. It was beautiful and sensual and infinite. It captivated every single cell in my being like a child at a firework show. Then it shattered into mere fragments that sunk into the blackness below the surface.

Jake walked straight to me. I didn't know what to expect.  
>"Stella," he said, "Hi,"<br>"Hi," For once I was lost for words.  
>"I got us a table,"<br>He lead me through to a small table for two with candles. It was next to a window. He helped me into my chair and I smiled, "Thank you,"  
>All the possible smart, funny, flirtatous things to say had been hoovered out of my brain so there was a slightly awkward pause before I came up with,<br>"Did you, um, I mean, how was the, the, the journey?" I couldn't believe myself. How was the journey? Who says that? I did, apparently.  
>"The Aspen Wrickenridge bus is hell on Friday nights. Just getting on the damn thing is a journey in itself,"<br>There was a twinkle in his eye. I laughed and Jake grinned at me. Then the waitress came and we studied our menus in silence.

"Have you decided?" said Jake.  
>"Ish," I said. "You see, I'm kind of torn between a vanilla or a chocolate milkshake. I'm in the mood for beef, but not a burger. I fancy the carbonara pasta because it has cheese, but then I really want something that comes with fries. And is it reasonable to say that if I'm having the chocolate brownie tower for desert that I should then have the vanilla milkshake? Maybe if I-" I noticed Jake's raised eyebrows and stopped. "I'm babbling. I'm sorry, I know I talk too much'"<br>"No you don't. I love your talk. It's cute,"  
>"Really?" He nodded. "Well what can I say, I love food,"<br>He laughed then, sincerely and beautifully, with his head tipped back. Like a kid. How can he really think I'm funny?  
>"Well that's good too. I hate when you buy a girl chocolates and they don't eat them for weeks 'cause they're watching their weight,"<br>Did he think I needed to watch my weight? He seemed to hear the thought, almost as if he were a savant. "No, that doesn't mean you. I think the way you look is perfect,"  
>We ordered food and drinks and then we talked. Jake told me stories about his family and we talked about climbing animatedly. Jake m<p>

10m agoWhen I said he looked nice he told me I looked great then said, "But I can't say your colours surprise me. I'm sure Taylor would approve," I giggled at that. We just talked and talked and talked endlessly and it was just so nice. I didn't remember ever having this long a conversation with Ryan.

"No, *really*, I'm stupid at intellectual stuff. This is everyone in my math class: 'Hmm... well X plus Y equals 32 squared, yes that makes so much sense to my incredibly nerdy brain' and this is me 'why does it have to be the letter X all the time, I don't understand that at all,'" Jake spluttered, guffawing for so long that eyes were drawn to us.

"So my eight year old little sister is just like, 'don't worry, I'll catch you, Jake,' and then Hana raises her arms above her head like she is actually gonna catch me and it's like no pressure at all, really,"  
>"So did you fall off?"<br>"You kidding? That was just another incentive for me not to swing round the whole climbing centre on a lead rope!"  
>I laughed, "Well, lucky you, because I swear that wall hates me. It has a personal grudge against me,"<br>"That wall has a grudge against existing!"

We switched topics constantly, both us having a sudden thought about something we'd said before. Once he made a rather rude joke about a surly older guy we'd often seen at the centre. I laughed so much that my face went aflame and my eyes were watering.  
>"You know," I said to Jake, "When I was twelve I made a list of things I wanted in a guy. Someone who made me laugh was number three,"<br>"What was before that?" he asked giving me a winning smile.  
>"I think something like prince charming looks and then hot abs."<br>Jake spluttered. "I was unbelievably shallow," I said, grinning. After that I changed the subject because back then, that innocent, youthful shallowness lead me to Ryan and that was the last thing I wanted to think of.

We ate desert. I did go with the chocolate tower in the end. We stood outside on the street. Jake's eyes were dark in the night and I thought about what it would be like to kiss him. When would I get to kiss him?  
>"Is it just me, or does the street look darker than it used to?" I mused.<br>"I don't know. You tell me, you're the local,"  
>"It's something to do with the stars looking brighter. Because if the stars are brighter then surely it will make the dark look darker. Or maybe it's just the chocolate,"<br>"Maybe it is," There was no trace of humour in his eyes as Jake turned to look at me. "You look beautiful,"  
>"Beautiful? But I'm just me,"<br>"Well then, Just You, if that's so, can you tell me why I can't stop looking at you?"  
>"No," I said tentatively, "But then maybe it's just the chocolate,"<br>Jake closed the gap between us, "Maybe, but it won't change what I'm thinking right now,"  
>"What's that?"<br>"This,"

He put his hand on the side of my face, his index finger resting just below my ear. His other hand ran lazily through my hair. I was absolutely paralysed. He put his lips onto mine gently, softly, testing me out. He ran his tongue gently over the line where my bottom and top lip met. I wrapped my arms around him and put more pressure against his lips. His hands ran down my back and to my waist, so I had to stretch up to reach. He was holding me up against him. His tongue eased its way into my mouth and I mimicked the movements. It was as graceful as a dance, except tender, unrehearsed, tangible. He pulled back for a second and looked into my eyes. I pushed forward again, hungry for more. I slid my tongue between his lips like he had done. He let me, he didn't stop me and I didn't stop him. We couldn't. There was nothing except him and me and us.

We kissed for a long while after that and Jake said, "I think I'm gonna walk you home.," I didn't respond, unless you count kissing his lips gently and sliding an arm round his torso. I led the way, but we walked like a couple. A couple. I thought about that.  
>We were just up the road from the house when I felt the need to talk, "This is perfect,"<br>"I can't imagine it being better," He didn't say it like a challenge, but I took it that way.  
>"Oh? Can't you?" His brows furrowed.<br>"C'mon!" I dropped his hand and started to sprint for the woods near the house. I heard him call my name and then start to run after me. I laughed loudly. I knew exactly where I was going. The oak tree was my favourite place in Wrickenridge. I'd been climbing this tree since I was a little kid. I stopped short in front of the tree and kicked off my heels. I began to climb barefoot. I still didn't look behind me.  
>"Stella!" Jake yelled up to me.<br>"Come on!" I replied. I could hear him starting to climb after me.  
>When I reached a certain height, I stopped. I leaned against a branch, hugging myself to it, breathing hard.<br>I felt an arm snaking round my waist, and screamed. The arm held me harder and a voice spoke in my ear, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't fall and break your neck on the first date."  
>"I wasn't gonna fall," I said testily.<br>"I know. You're too smart for that," I leant back against him and felt him circle me in his arms. He started to trace circles on my midriff with his fingers. Everything Jake did just drew me further in.  
>I made a big show of twisting to face him, then we kissed furiously. I had never ever felt like this before. My whole entire being was made of fire and electricity. Jake's fire. Was this love? Because I couldn't see how anything could ever get better than it was in those moments in the tree with Jake. Those kisses.<br>We climbed down hand in hand and I picked up my shoes. I led him to the back door and when he kissed me again I didn't hesitate to kiss him back, discarding my shoes on the ground for the second time that evening.  
>"STELLA!" Jake and I sprang apart, surprised.<br>Standing behind us, with all the fires of hell burning in his eye, was Zed.

**AN: I'm a Zed lover, so sorry if anyone feels there's not enough from the other brothers. Hope you loved that chapter as much as I did!**

**Final message from Phemie: it's x and y because of coordinates! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Hey, here's a quick update as promised. This is self edited so sorry for any mistakes. Lots of my recent chapters have been quite short, I was thinking about whether I should do longer but more regular updates? If you guys have opinions on this please tell me in the reviews (they mean the world to me by the way) or just send me a PM. Thanks guys!**

**Disclaimer: Joss Stirling is the smarts behind all of this!**

Zed. Zed, my brother. Zed, who had just caught me staying out late when I was supposed to be grounded. Zed, who had once beat up Ryan on my behalf. Zed, who had seen me kissing Jake.

"Zed, I can explain."

"Of course you can explain, Stella, you can always _explain!_"

"Zed, Jake and I were just-"

"Yeah, I can see that."

I sighed, "Just get it over with, will you? Pretend for a split second like you're responsible and then tell me why I'm not."

"You've gone beyond irresponsible and straight into insane!"

"Then what does that make you? I know you don't like to think about all the girls you kissed and ditched before Sky, but you know I know the truth!" Jake was standing awkwardly behind me.

"This isn't about me, it's about you. You were supposed to be studying, not eating the face off of some blonde Ryan 1.2!" My eyes flashed, what did he think he was _doing? _"Especially when Crystal is so close to-" He cut himself off because of Jake.

"You know what? You're a dick!"

"_You're_ grounded!"

"This isn't like before."

"Look, Stell, it's not the going out which has got to me, but, what is the point of this when you're so close to-"

"It just happened. It's not like I plan these things, Zed. Besides, I didn't know that Crystal was-"

"Don't play dumb with me."

"Zed, no matter what anyone says I am sixteen years old and I can do what the hell I want! This might surprise you some, but I can date whoever I want, _without_ needing your approval!"

Zed started to try and force into my head, no doubt with some, "your soulfinder is destined for you, crap," but I didn't let him in. I didn't want a soulfinder, I didn't want to be a savant, I just wanted to be with Jake. "We can talk about this in a second. I need to say goodbye to Jake now." Zed crossed his arms and stood waiting.

I turned to Jake and hugged him, burying my face in his neck and breathing him in. In that way of ours, we started to speak with our eyes. Mine were an apology. He kissed my forehead. He couldn't have cared less about any of it, he just wanted me as I wanted him.

I moved my mouth to his ear, "I'll meet you tomorrow."

Jake whispered, "Text you." I couldn't say the words that were next in the script, so I kissed him, pouring everything into it. The anger and the hurt and the shame and the words I couldn't say. The words I was only supposed to say to one person in the world, the one person that I didn't want to know.

Love you.

Zed and I went inside quietly together.

"Don't tell," was the first thing I said.

"Convince me," Zed replied.

"You're right. I was really stupid. I fell into this at the worst time possible. But I was thinking anyway, Crystal's efforts would be better spent on Will or Uri. I don't need a soulfinder that much yet. I mean, I'm in high school. It's not a serious relationship at all. It's a small bit of harmless fun, you would understand that. Nothing will happen, just give me a few weeks. It's not fair to Jake to break with him because I'm close to something better. He's nothing like Ryan, I promise. He's just a nice ordinary guy."

"It would be better for you if you ended it now before you have to hurt him."

"Before I find my soulfinder I think I need to know that not all guys are a bunch of Ryans."

Zed sighed through his teeth, "I'll talk to Mom and Dad, make something up, but you owe me. Just be careful."

"I've been burnt one too many times already, Zed. You don't need to warn me."

"That doesn't mean I won't."

I smiled, "Thank you. It means a lot."

I turned to go back to my own room, but Zed stopped me in the doorway, "Stella?" his voice was all cracked.

I twisted round, "Yeah?"

"The guy's real into you, I can tell. When you break up with him it won't be easy."

"Not everyone in this family has the heartbreaker gene, Zed."

I thought that would be it, we were quits, but Zed stared at me head on, "Do you love him?"

I looked my faithful, loving, protective brother in the eye and lied.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: I am so sorry from the very bottom of my heart! I was away for a few days on an island with no Wifi which I think I mentioned to you before, on that day I got swept up with packing. When I came back, not only do I have exams and oral book reviews, my laptop has a stupid virus! I think the world hates me! So that is my explanation for the delay, thank you all for not giving up on me. This hasn't been edited because I rushed to get it published for you but I hope you enjoy anyway. I'm sorry if I haven't captured Karla's character very well; I find her quite difficult to write. Also, commonly asked question: is Jake Stella's soulfinder? All I can say is this: He might very well be but it seems just a little bit ****_convenient_****, doesn't it? :) Next update in a few days! **

**I love you all!**

**-Steph**

When I woke up the next morning I immediately realised my brand new heels had been outside all night. Shit. The clock by the side of my bed read 6:39. I couldn't sense any other awake minds in the house, so I tiptoed down the stairs to the backyard and picked up my shoes. It had rained, of course. I chucked the shoes to the back of my wardrobe. Tomorrow's problem. I glanced at my bleary eyed reflection and absent-mindedly ran a hand through my hair. After that, I promptly fell back into bed.

When I next woke up it was 11:16am. I checked my phone for messages. There were four, three from Alicia and one from Jake. Alicia was ecstatic for details and desperately wanted me to come over to her place tonight. Jake wanted to meet me today at a café. I texted yes to both.

I got dressed and squashed some essentials (make up, hairbrush, phone, chocolate buttons) into a handbag. I went to the kitchen to make myself a toasty.

I was sitting at the table on my own when Mom swept in. "Darling!" Oh dear. What was this about?

"Oh hi, Mom. I'm gonna go to Alicia's soon."

"That's wonderful honey, it's excellent you have such super friends!" Over positive much?

"So that's all ok then? I might sleep over, not sure yet."

"That's fine. Zed has spoken to me."

"About Crystal?"

"Yes. I understand perfectly why you don't feel as yet ready to find your soulfinder and your father and I think it's admirable that you would make such a sacrifice for your family. Will, Victor and Uriel will appreciate it greatly."

"Thanks, Mom."

"Oh, Stella. You're so lovely. I'd like you to know that I won't take any of the recent events to heart, and we trust you." I put my arms around my mom and held onto her tightly, breathing in the scent of her sickly sweet perfume.

"I love you, Mom." Whatever you could say about Mom's vocabulary, her fashion sense and her over the top enthusiasm, she was still my mother and I loved her to pieces.

YVES'S POV

Stella had left the house to go to Alicia's. I found Dad on the slopes and I strode up to him.

"Dad!"

"Yves," he said. "What can I do for you?"

"Why isn't Crystal finding Stell's soulfinder?"

"Stella has some issues-"

"I did notice." Dad gave me a wary look. "I'm sorry," I added quickly. I always felt guilty for losing my temper and snapping at my family.

"It's alright, son."

"I just think that if Stella has problems the easiest way for her to solve them is to find her soulfinder. Her balance."

"People always deal with things in different ways and if Stella feels she is not ready then we have no right to rush her."

"It worked for Zed."

"Stella isn't Zed, Yves. She's…" He waved his hands in the air.

"She's just her. She's Stella. Impossible to pin down or describe. She doesn't fit with any rules except her own."

"Rules that no one else has half a chance of understanding."

"Exactly." We smiled.

"Your sister will find her way in the end. You shouldn't worry about her."

"Doesn't mean I won't."

"I know."

STELLA'S POV

"We've got to stop doing this." It was strange how a small peck on the mouth could turn into a fully-fledged make out session lasting who knows, who cares, how long.

"I can't resist you." I could feel Jake's breath on my cheek as he spoke and God, it was the most distracting thing. He titled my face towards his and ran a finger across my jaw.

"You're right. Screw that."

We had had a respectful, civilised coffee date until it ended, and we'd both lost the plot in an empty alleyway.

I gasped for air after one long mouth kiss, "Jake."

"Mmmmm."

"Seriously. I can't stay here all day."

"But you want to."

"You," I said between kisses, "Have. No idea. What I want."

Jake grinned, "I can guess." He twined his fingers in my hair and kissed my neck, just below the left ear. He knew that spot made me go crazy.

"You're dangerous, Stella."

"So are you!"

"It's my middle name."

"You are kidding, right?"

Jake laughed, "I could do this forever."

"Banter central, me and you."

"What are girlfriends for?" We both stopped short, knowing this was the first time he'd called me his girlfriend. It meant something.

"Boyfriend," I whispered.

"Girlfriend," Jake whispered back.

"I really do need to go soon."

"I can't wait until tomorrow to be with you."

I smiled, mockingly, "You might have to."

"Don't play hard to get with me."

"At least I'm not boring." He kissed me again. He wanted to keep me with him.

I extracted myself from Jake's arms, "I'll see you at climbing."

"Are you going to the baseball tournament next Saturday?"

I glanced at him suspiciously, "I dunno."

"I'm playing for Aspen High so if you wanted to, you know, if you just happened to be there and-"

"I'll come watch. But just so you know I'm cheering my home team." High school sports matches were breaking news in small towns like ours, and the tournament finals and semis

"I take it that was a challenge?"

"Depends if you accept."

"Trust me, knowing you're watching will definitely up my game."

"Then ok."

"Cool. Bring all your friends so they can woo over my toned muscles and angelic good looks."

"I can't believe I never realised you were so cocky."

"At least I know I can surprise you."

"Yeah. But seriously." I paused. "I'll be there as soon as they open doors. And I'll see you after."

"Of course." We kissed goodbye and I sashayed my way to the bus stop. I texted Alicia, exciting bubbling over inside my chest. The text said:

I'm on my way. Btw r u going 2 the game next Sat?


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: **

**Hey guys! This will be my last update until Saturday, I'm having a few problems with publishing. Thanks for all the reviews from before, please post more. They inspire me to keep writing. I know lots of you will be hacked off with my irregular updates, I'm really sorry. I have just started reading Joss's new savant book, Misty Falls. It's amazing and I'd recommend it to all of you. I really hope you like this chapter and I'll make up for the lack of updates when I'm back, I promise. Phemie, thank you for editing this story. Thanks for reading, I love you all!**

**Disclaimer: All content in this chapter and the previous ones belong to Joss Stirling.**

Alicia ran up to me, shrieking, "You've STILL not given me the goss on what happened yesterday!"

"Goss, who said anything about goss? It was nothing special, just a date, you know."

"Don't _you know _me! It couldn't have been nothing special!"

"Maybe we should, you know, walk home first." We sauntered up the road, arm in arm.

"Right. I've still got some of your old stuff from a few times ago, if you wanna stay over."

"Ok."

"So are we going to watch Silverbranch thrash Aspen and Wrickenridge at baseball next Saturday?"

"Yeah, if that's cool."

"Yeah it'll be good."

"As long as you're cheering Silverbranch with me."

"Oh God, don't do this to me. My loyalties are already split."

Alicia narrowed her eyes at me, "Since when did you give a crap about the Aspen Assholes… oh!"

"Oh." I was blushing, I knew it.

"So," Alicia cocked her head to the side, "This means you get to run onto the field at the end and do the whole adoring girlfriend thing,"

"Really? I gotta do that?"

Alicia nodded slowly, brows raised.

"Shit!"

Alicia laughed out loud, "Just wish I could've got that on tape."

"No you don't."

"I don't?"

"Imagine what would have happened to your camera."

PHOENIX'S POV

"I kind of wanted to have a rule about it anyway: No soulfinders until you're eighteen, that's what I've said to all my nieces and nephews," Crystal ran a hand through her hair.

"So what's the problem then?" asked Sky. We were in Sky's bedroom at her parents' house, chatting.

"I just made an exception for Stella. You guys helped me so much and Stella is Xav's little sister. I don't understand why they want me to stop now though, I just think it would help so much."

"It's not your fault, Crystal," I said.

"Nothing's anyone's fault. I'm just confused."

"Maybe you should ask the boys, they'll know more than we do."

"Thanks Sky," said Crystal.

I felt increasingly guilty. I knew that Stella didn't want to find her soulfinder, presumably because of her new guy. She'd sworn me to secrecy about the date but the part I didn't understand was how she'd managed to convince Karla to let Crystal focus her efforts elsewhere. "Is Stella still grounded, or has Karla let her off with that as well?" I asked finally.

"Ugh! Who knows?" Crystal said.

"Ok that's it! I can't possibly keep this to myself anymore!" Sky exploded.

"You know?" I said before I could stop myself.

"What, you're saying you know too?"

"I think so."

"Guys what the hell do I not know?" Crystal glared at us.

"Wait wait wait," said Sky, "So I'm guessing Zed told Yves then?"

"Zed! Stella wanted me to keep it a secret especially from Zed!"

"Stella told you!"

"Ok hang on," said Crystal, "Phee, what are you talking about?"

"Stella's date."

"The date with Stella's new boyfriend that she wanted to keep a secret until Zed found them making out? The one Zed and Stella made a pact over? That date?"

Crystal put her head in her hands, "What the hell is wrong with this family?"

STELLA'S POV

"…There's something wrong with my family."

"You mean they're over protective."

"You could sort of say that. So anyway, Zed's like all responsible big brother macho and I'm just like totes sassing him. So we managed to agree on secrecy, he even spoke to Mom about me being grounded."

"That guy loves you way too much. In a brother way. So is Jake a good kisser?"

"Oh, the best! But we've not even got to the good part yet. So we met up before I came here to have a coffee. It was nice, you know? Some chitchat, chocolate biscuits. Then he walked me up the street and we both went insane! Big kissy thingy happened, just like that." Alicia and I were curled up on her bed with bowls of ice cream and we'd just had pizza.

"Just like that?"

"Uh-huh."

She squealed, "So you're like a proper item now!"

"I guess. He's so cute! He is like everything I ever thought I wanted in a boyfriend. He's just the perfect guy. Like my prince charming."

"Your soulmate," Alicia whispered thoughtfully.

My eyes darkened, "Well, if you believe in that kind of stuff."

"You don't?"

"I think life should be about choice. Finding what you want for yourself."

"I always thought that it would be great if there was someone out there, eating, sleeping, breathing at the same time as I am. Someone who will understand me like no one else does. Someone who's mine, and mine only, you know?"

I laughed, but it felt hollow, "If only life were as simple as that."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**AN: Hey everyone! It's me again with another chapter. All the italics in this chapter represent texts, not telepathy in case you get confused. I hope you all enjoy! Phemie, I am doing the project now, really. **

**Disclaimer: It isn't mine.**

Alicia was asleep next to me, random strands of hair falling about her face. I fumbled for my phone on the table beside Alicia's double bed and clicked it on to see the time. I had a text.  
><em>Think I'm missing you already. Jake xx<em>  
>I sent back a reply, not expecting him to respond at this time.<br>_Awww me too. I'm not busy tomorrow if you wanted to do something before climbing?_  
>I closed my eyes. I didn't feel ready to sleep, but I didn't have any other options.<br>A few seconds later I felt something vibrate. My phone again. _I can think of things for us to do before, after & during._  
>I smiled as I typed out a reply.<br>_I can't imagine what you're on about :) you still up?_

_Obviously I'm texting in my sleep,_ was his reply. I giggled.  
><em>Another of your talents then.<br>Of course. Can you not sleep?  
>I'm at a friends but she's gone to sleep on me. Why are you up?<br>I never sleep much, especially at night._

_Night owl.  
>Twit two.<br>_I sent him back a laughing face.  
><em>So if I'm an owl, what are you?<em> Jake said.  
><em>We're playing this game, really?<br>Considering how you climb... I'd say you're a monkey, a chocolate monkey._

_Chocolate?  
>Your hair reminds me of chocolate.<br>Does that mean you want to eat me?  
>No way. I wouldn't be able to look at you afterwards, and that would be a real tradgedy.<br>_I paused, wondering how to reply.  
><em>I mean it<em>. Jake texted again. Wow.  
><em>In that case, you must be a honey chimpanzee, surely? <em>I said, finally.  
>His reply was short and sweet: <em>Lol.<em>  
><em>I once told a seven your old that lol stood for life of lollipops<em>. I sent that whimsically.  
><em>I thought it was lands of liquorice.<em> When I read that I bit my lip to stop myself from shrieking with hysterical laughter.  
>Our conversation continued in that vein. Childlike, playful. Eventually, my eyes were drooping with tiredness.<p>

_I should sleep soon.  
>Me too. Can I meet you in the cafe an hour early tomorrow?<br>Sure. Well goodnight xx  
>Goodnight chocolate monkey xx<em>  
>I couldn't resist: <em>Goodnight honey chimpanzee xoxo<em>

The next day, the kisses and the hugs became real. We suddenly developed a habit of late night text and then phone conversations. We met up most days, and we'd make out for a fair percentage of the time but we would also just talk or walk around town holding hands, and it was nice. Jake was cute, charming and he never put me under any pressure. We shared an outrageous, often crazy sense of humour which made conversation easy and relaxed. He had this habit of kissing me mid-sentence. To be honest, I enjoyed those rude interruptions far too much.

The next week went by slowly. No one really seemed to care about my suspension, the whole week was just a build up to the big game on Saturday. Much to Alicia's angst it was predicted to be an Aspen Wrickenridge final. Aspen had won the last three years running and everyone was hoping for a comeback for Wrickenridge. Zed was training obsessivly. He was in what Sky called "Wolfman mode." Jake talked about the game incessantly too, and by the time Friday morning rolled around I just wanted it to happen already. I'd ended up with a big group of people to watch the game with: Sky; her friends Nelson, Tina and Zoe; Yves and Phoenix; Xav and Crystal; Alicia; a couple of her Silverbranch High friends, Kimi and Bella and then me. I wasn't bothered that no one in my own school year wanted to hang out with me. It had been that way for a while and I didn't care at all.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: I finished Misty Falls, which has prompted me to start reading Finding Sky for the fourth time, which will probably prompt me to write some new fanfictions. I've not had many reviews lately, probably because of my infrequent updates, which I'm sorry for. The last chapter was very short, but that's because something important happens in this chapter so this chapter is longer now. I hope you enjoy and my next chapter will be out by the end of the week. **

**Disclaimer: Copyright Joss Stirling.**

At lunchtime on Friday, I was sat alone in a corner eating a tasteless school meal when a girl I'd never seen before came over to my table. She was striking, tall and skinny with waist-length auburn red hair that stood out in a crowd.  
>"Hey. I'm new, can I sit here?" She was direct. Her piercing blue eyes were beseeching me. The last thing I wanted was company, but it seemed rude to refuse.<br>"Yeah sure. I'm Stella."  
>"Elizabeth."<br>"Are you a junior?"  
>Elizabeth nodded.<br>I smiled, "Cool. Me too."  
>"I went to talk to those girls over there," she pointed to Marcy and co. "But it turns out they weren't really the kind of people I wanted to hang with." She said it almost defiantly, daring me to challenge her.<br>"You've good judgement," I said.  
>Elizabeth grinned, "Could you maybe show me around? Introduce me to people?" She looked hopeful.<br>"Showing you around is no problem but... I'm not exactly the most popular person here. You'd be best looking elsewhere for friends."  
>Elizabeth stared at me, "I don't need other people to tell me who I can be friends with." She paused. "I think I've found exactly my kind of person already." It took me a second to realise she meant me.<br>"Elizabeth I really don't know anything about fitting in here."  
>"That's perfect. I don't want to fit in with anyone."<br>I smiled, "In that case, I know we have something in common."  
>As it turned out, Elizabeth and I had everything and nothing in common.<br>"I'm from New York."  
>My eyebrows shot up, "Some change."<br>Elizabeth laughed, "Yeah. I miss it but Wrickenridge is cool."  
>"Cool? I've lived here all my life and that's not the first word that comes to mind."<br>"Really? You have skiing, mountains, Mrs Hoffman." I snorted at the reference to the town's gossip granny. "What's not to love?" She finished with a little giggle which lit up her face. Even if she chose to hang out with me, all the boys would be all over her in seconds.  
>"Well when you put it like that…" I smiled. "So why d'you move? Does New York get boring after a while?"<br>"New York, boring? No, my mom lost her job and decided we needed a change of scene. She can be like that. Spontaneous."  
>"She sounds cool. My family is kind of wild, if I'm honest." Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, asking for more.<p>

"Seven annoying older brothers, four sisters in law, a native American dad and a mom with the fashion sense of a pineapple."  
>Elizabeth laughed, "Sounds just my kind of thing. It must never get boring."<br>"No, it's never boring. Though it's difficult to get peace and quiet."  
>"Peace and quiet! Who wants peace and quiet when you can have fun?"<br>"There is that. We've got half an hour left of lunch, do you want the grand tour now?"  
>"Ok. If we're doing that, can you help me find my chem class?" Elizabeth dumped some books in hers.<br>"Wow!" I said, looking over her shoulder.  
>"What?" Elizabeth said, distractedly.<br>"Is your locker this neat because you're new?" The locker contained neat stacks of books and folders, all her stationary tidily collected in one corner. She had a copy of her timetable stuck to the inside of the door.  
>"How is it this tidy?"<br>Elizabeth shrugged, "I'm a neat freak, but this isn't that tidy compared to most, is it?"  
>"Come and see mine." My locker had never really locked properly; I had to yank the key hard to get it open, but there was a knack if you knew what you were doing. My locker looked like a tornado had torn through it. Books and folders were in a messy pile at the back. In front were pens, pencils, coins chewing gum packets, a hair brush, trainers, deodorant, elastic bands, hair clips, sweet wrappers, hair bands, jewellery, eyeliner stubs, make up brushes, gloves and, for some reason, a plastic Chihuahua. The back of the door was a collage of concert tickets and photos of Taylor Swift, me, me and members of my family, and me and Alicia.<br>"As you can see I'm not a tidy person," I told Elizabeth.  
>"The photos are nice. I could do something like that with mine." She gestured to the inside, "But how can you ever find anything?"<br>"That's the great thing. I'll lose something then forgot about it and then it turns up six months later! For example," I picked up a charm bracelet. "I got this in freshman year and only rediscovered it last week."  
>Elizabeth rolled her eyes, "So you like Taylor Swift then?" she said, eying my Swiftie4ever poster.<br>"It's an obsession. Wait, you're not a Directioner are you?" I said looking at her suspiciously.

"No. I'm a Vampette."

"Oh cool. I saw them live when they supported Taylor's tour." I got a few books out my locker and we walked slowly down the corridor.

"I'm jealous. You know James McVey has a crush on her?"

We had a really shallow conversation about celebrity relationships then. Which kind of somehow got us to the subject of our own love lives.

"So, which boys are hottest round here?"

I paused, "Riley Henderson is supposed to be the Hot Senior of the month. The cuties in our year are probably Josh Mitchell and Alex Winters. Stay away from Sean Gregory and Logan Pierson unless you want a wild one. And especially, don't date Ryan Adams to save your life. Trust me on that one. But you look savvy enough to work that out for yourself."

Elizabeth cocked her head, "Are you talking from experience?"

I shrugged, "You'll hear the stories sooner or later."

"Ok. Point those guys out to me sometime." She nudged me, "So do you have anyone?"

"Not here."

"So where?"

I smiled, "There is one guy from Aspen High. But it just kind of happened last week and I don't know where we stand yet."

"You've got me interested."

I laughed, "Look, um. There's a bunch of people going to the baseball tomorrow. If you want you could tag along with us?"

"Sure! I can do that."

She could do way more than that, as I was soon to find out.


End file.
